Category: Funny

Jaminator, Hard Rock Made Easy

Worlds of Wonder or WoW was a 1980s American toy company…[that sold] the Jaminator (1990), an electronic air guitar that plays different riffs depended on which buttons are pressed on the neck and also provides basic rhythm accompaniment with a small keyboard and drum pads.

An electric guitar is a fretted stringed instrument with a neck and body that uses a pickup to convert the vibration of its strings into electrical signals.

A keytar is a relatively lightweight electronic keyboard (with or without a built-in synthesizer) that is supported by a strap around the neck and shoulders, similar to the way a guitar is supported by a strap.

Hard rock is a loosely defined subgenre of rock music that began in the mid-1960s, with the garage, psychedelic and blues rock movements. It is typified by a heavy use of aggressive vocals, distorted electric guitars, bass guitar, drums, and often accompanied with keyboards.

In various popular music styles, riff refers to a brief, relaxed phrase repeated over changing melodies.

The Spicy Mama Deal is for Everyone

The jalapeño is a medium-sized chili pepper pod type cultivar of the species Capsicum annuum. A mature jalapeño fruit is 5–10 cm (2–4 in) long and hangs down with a round, firm, smooth flesh of 25–38 mm (1–1 in) wide. It is of mild to medium pungency, having a range of 1,000 to 20,000 Scoville units, depending on cultivar.

Processed cheese (also known as prepared cheese, cheese product, or cheese singles) is a food product made from cheese (and sometimes other, unfermented, dairy by-product ingredients), plus emulsifiers, saturated vegetable oils, extra salt, food colorings, whey or sugar.

A chipotle, or chilpotle, which comes from the Nahuatl word chilpoctli (meaning “smoked chili”), is a smoke-dried jalapeño. It is a chili used primarily in Mexican and Mexican-inspired cuisines, such as Mexican-American, Tex-Mex, and Southwestern dishes.

Hamburgers are sold at fast-food restaurants, diners, and specialty and high-end restaurants (where burgers may sell for several times the cost of a fast-food burger, but may be one of the cheaper options on the menu). There are many international and regional variations of the hamburger.

Two new [A&W Canada] restaurant concepts were introduced in the fall of 2009. The new standalone restaurant design is ultra modern but with some architectural markings reminiscent of the design in the earlier buildings erect from A&W back in time.

Donald J. Trump Eats His Pizza the Wrong Way

Pizza is prepared fresh, frozen, and as portion-size slices or pieces.

Pizza Hut experiments with new products, discontinuing less successful ones. In North America, Pizza Hut has notably sold “Stuffed crust” pizza, with the outermost edge wrapped around a cylinder of mozzarella cheese Stuffed Crust pizza was introduced in March 26, 1995. By the end of the year it had become one of their most popular lines.

Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is an American businessman, television producer, author, politician, and the Republican Party nominee for President of the United States in the 2016 election. He is the chairman and president of The Trump Organization, which is the principal holding company for his real estate ventures and other business interests.

Ivana Marie Trump (née Zelníčková]; February 20, 1949) is a Czech-American businesswoman, author, socialite, and former fashion model, widely known for her marriage to Donald Trump. Although the settlement remains sealed by the courts, it is rumored that [she] received $20 million; the $14 million family estate in Connecticut; a $5 million housing allowance; $350,000 annual alimony; all of her jewelry; and 49% of Mar-a-Lago, the family home in Palm Beach, Florida, that also serves as a private club for the Palm Beach elite.

Regarding divorce settlements, according to the 2004 Grant Thornton survey in the UK, women obtained a better or considerably better settlement than men in 60% of cases. In 30% of cases the assets were split 50–50, and in only 10% of cases did men achieve better settlements (down from 24% the previous year).

Hallmark Vegan Christmas

Veganism is both the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products, particularly in diet, and an associated philosophy that rejects the commodity status of animals. A follower of veganism is known as a vegan.

Tofurkey (a portmanteau of tofu and turkey) is faux turkey, a meat substitute in the form of a loaf or casserole of vegetarian protein, usually made from tofu (soybean protein) or seitan (wheat protein) with a stuffing made from grain(s) and/or bread, flavored with a broth and seasoned with herbs and spices.

Most Christmas customs [such as Christmas dinner] in the United States have been adopted from those in the United Kingdom (though others have come from Italy, France, Scandinavia, and Germany.) Accordingly, the mainstays of the British table are also found in the United States: roast turkey (or other poultry), beef, ham, or pork; stuffing (or ‘dressing’), mashed potatoes and gravy, squash, roasted root vegetables are common.

Ham is pork that has been preserved through salting, smoking, or wet curing. It was traditionally made only from the hind leg of swine, and referred to that specific cut of pork.

Christmas ornaments are decorations (usually made of glass, metal, wood, or ceramics) that are used to festoon a Christmas tree.

Hallmark Cards is a privately owned American company based in Kansas City, Missouri. Founded in 1910 by Joyce Hall, Hallmark is the largest manufacturer of greeting cards in the United States.

Jack in the Box Meat and Cheese Focus Group

A cheeseburger is a hamburger topped with cheese.

Meat is animal flesh that is eaten as food.

Cheese is a food derived from milk that is produced in a wide range of flavors, textures, and forms by coagulation of the milk protein casein.

A focus group is a form of qualitative research in which a group of people are asked about their perceptions, opinions, beliefs, and attitudes towards a product, service, concept, advertisement, idea, or packaging. Questions are asked in an interactive group setting where participants are free to talk with other group members.

[Jack in the Box] rebounded in popularity in 1994, after a highly successful marketing campaign that featured the fictitious Jack in the Box chairman Jack character (voiced by the campaign’s creator Dick Sittig), who has a ping pong ball-like head, a yellow clown cap, two blue eyes, a pointy black nose, and a linear red smile that changes with his emotions, and is dressed in a business suit.

Thunderbird and Grapefruit Juice: Shake ‘Em Up

Flavored fortified wines are inexpensive fortified wines that typically have an alcohol content between 13% and 20% alcohol by volume (ABV). They are usually made of grape and citrus wine, sugar, and artificial flavor.

Grapefruit is a rich source of vitamin C, contains the fiber pectin, and the pink and red hues contain the beneficial antioxidant lycopene.

Grapefruit juice is the juice from grapefruits. It is rich in Vitamin C and ranges from sweet-tart to very sour. Variations include white grapefruit, pink grapefruit and ruby red grapefruit juice.

Disco is a genre of music containing elements of funk, soul, pop, salsa and psychedelic that was most popular in the mid and late 1970s, though it has since enjoyed brief resurgences. The term is derived from discothèque (French for “library of phonograph records”, but subsequently used as proper name for nightclubs in Paris).